The saga of Gilgimarsh (part two)

Saint Josh well renowned as the epic gallivantier and sneaky spy had been off in distant Greechen Land consulting with oracle Belle Von Delphi and partaking of pungent mozzarella flavoured gases emanating her chamber. They had been soberly in discussion on philosophical theories as those proposed by Martin the Buber (not to be confused with Justin the Bieber) and whether the toucans, who believed they were gods, could theoretically be part of a binational solution to the strawberry wine sacrifices Gilgimarsh was forced to make. They had reached a conclusion that gods could be given a vote but only if they were sober, and this may be the biggest challenge; however it would be easier than the present form of apartheid, and if the gods had to buy their wine it could be taxed too.

On returning home Saint Josh encountered a problem and it wasn't from Von Delphi's gases either. Gilgimarsh had become mired in toucan regurgitation almost reaching his arm pits. Now cows loved this stuff, they thrived on it. But people, you needed a boat. Saint Josh waded for days to reach the village, and had to resort to a tinfoil hat because the gods seemed to have it out especially out for him with their keen olfactory abilities droning about for bombardment victims. When he finally reached the village he found his epic tribe turned dairy maids and durum hewers gallivanting on the roof tops totally soused on sweet strawberry wine. Now Saint Josh loved his lasagna more than life itself, however his pessimism on the convictions of his cohorts to remain faithful to this passion allowed him to take in the scene with a grain of compassion. The wine skins were almost empty so he joined right in with the frolicking becoming the life of the party with his bright eyes and tinfoil hat, and when the wine was gone that was that.

After everyone had added their own mix to the god's regurgitation they all settled down and had a ceremonial feast of scavenged charbroiled lasagna after which a discussion was held on how to appease the gods in a manner less prone to human vulnerabilities. It was concluded that a binational approach heralded by Saint Josh would be best suited to the problem at hand, but only if the gods were convinced that they would have a majority in the new democratic state. Much brainstorming hatched a plan to deceive the gods into believing they had a majority by creating thousands of false gods on long poles and planting them all over Gilgimarsh. It took several months but eventually the whole land was covered with colourful large beaks which the residing overlords took as their own. Saint Josh then led a delegation into the forests to offer appeasement to the gods in the form of a democracy in which the majority would rule a country which constitutionally embedded the right for regurgitation, but only within forested areas.

In the next episode of “The saga of Gilgimarsh” the toucan gods forfeit polytheism in an attempt at democracy and elect one of their own to be god of gods and king of kings.