Wednesday, April 2, 2014

The saga of Gilgimarsh (part three)


Now the toucans viewed themselves as gods and lived by the motto 'one for all and all for one' so their initial response to the delegation was a deluge of regurgitation so overwhelming that a tower had to be constructed reaching to the heavens, or at least the tree tops. So Saint Josh, now closer to heaven and on an equal footing with the toucans, patiently began to explain to them the concept of democracy and how with a few simple rules and a constitution, the majority of the inhabitants of Gilgimarsh would have the right to pass laws which would be to the liking of the majority. This, he told the toucans, would be far easier than using regurgitation as the sole means of godliness. All they had to do was choose a candidate from amongst themselves to run in an election, and whoever the majority of Gilgimarsh voted for would be the great leader honoured by all.

Unbeknown to the toucans, Martin the Buber's creative analysis was being fully implemented in the 'I – Thou' relationship the gods had with one another, although it may remain unclear on whether he meant it to be applied to a pantheon of gods, unless of course Justin the Bieber has a believe on the issue. But the 'I – It' relationship the gods had with their regurgitation tactics being relinquished to democracy would weigh heavy on a pantheon because very few great leaders ascend to an 'I – Thou' relationship with their subjects, especially amongst the gods. As the concept of democracy began to possess the egos of the gods and infighting and bribery became commonplace a monotheistic mindset took hold and a grand old toucan named Perky Pete was heralded as god of gods and king of kings.

It was decided to hold the election down by Twisty Creek with everyone lining up on one side and when they had voted they would cross the creek and John, who quickly became known as John the Asperser, would make sure they were soaking wet so they could not sneak back and vote twice. They would use a pile of stones and to vote you would simply drop a stone into the basket beside the candidate of your choice. The candidates were Saint Josh and Perky Pete, and much to everyone's amusement the cows got Betsy to let her basket stand also.

Voting day was drawing near and it was a good season for mushrooms in the dung which the cows dispersed freely over the dunes. These mushrooms were used to season the lasagna and when they were available people were generally in a good state of mind, attributed to the wonderful flavour. The tuocan gods loved these special mushrooms too and a rather symbiotic relationship had developed between the cows and the gods in which the gods provided the much loved regurgitates for cows and cows provided dung for mushrooms. A huge feast was held on election day with much lasagna for the tribe and mushrooms for the gods, and when the vote was over, Betsy the cows basket was buried in a mountain of stones and the other two baskets were near empty. It was said even the false gods on poles were dropping stones on Betsy's pile. As Justin the Bieber has discoursed in his Crime and Punishment, “All's well that ends well.”

In our next attempt at mollifying our nerve racking worldly events, we witness the cows embracing sacredness as a means to avoid the heavy cost of politics.
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