Now
the toucans viewed themselves as gods and lived by the motto 'one for
all and all for one' so their initial response to the delegation was
a deluge of regurgitation so overwhelming that a tower had to be
constructed reaching to the heavens, or at least the tree tops. So
Saint Josh, now closer to heaven and on an equal footing with the
toucans, patiently
began to explain to them the concept of democracy and how with a few
simple rules and a constitution, the
majority of the inhabitants of Gilgimarsh would have the right to
pass laws which would be to the liking of the majority. This, he
told the toucans, would be far easier than using regurgitation as
the sole means of godliness. All they had to do was choose a
candidate from amongst themselves to run in an election, and whoever
the majority of Gilgimarsh
voted for would be the great leader honoured by all.
Unbeknown
to the toucans, Martin the Buber's creative analysis was being fully
implemented in the 'I – Thou' relationship the gods had with one
another, although it may remain unclear on whether he meant it to be
applied to a pantheon of gods, unless of course Justin the Bieber
has a believe on the issue. But the 'I – It' relationship the gods
had with their regurgitation tactics being relinquished to democracy
would weigh heavy on a pantheon because very few great leaders ascend
to an 'I – Thou' relationship with their subjects, especially
amongst the gods. As the concept of democracy began to possess the
egos of the gods and infighting and bribery became commonplace a
monotheistic mindset took hold and a grand old toucan named Perky
Pete was heralded as god of gods and king of kings.
It
was decided to hold the election down by Twisty Creek with everyone
lining up on one side and when they had voted they would cross the
creek and John, who quickly became known as John the Asperser,
would make sure they were soaking wet so they could not sneak back
and vote twice. They would use a pile of stones and to vote you
would simply drop a stone into the basket beside the candidate of
your choice. The candidates were Saint Josh and Perky Pete, and
much to everyone's amusement the cows got Betsy to let her basket
stand also.
Voting
day was drawing near and it was a good season for mushrooms in the
dung which the cows dispersed freely over the dunes. These mushrooms
were used to season the lasagna and when they were available people
were generally in a good state of mind, attributed to the wonderful
flavour. The tuocan gods loved these special mushrooms too and a
rather symbiotic relationship had developed between the cows and the
gods in which the gods provided the much loved regurgitates for cows
and cows provided dung for mushrooms. A huge feast was held on
election day with much lasagna for the tribe and mushrooms for the
gods, and when the vote was over, Betsy the cows basket was buried
in a mountain of stones and the other two baskets were near empty.
It was said even the false gods on poles were dropping stones on
Betsy's pile. As Justin the Bieber has discoursed in his Crime
and Punishment, “All's well that ends well.”
In
our next attempt at mollifying our nerve racking worldly events, we
witness the cows embracing sacredness as a means to avoid the heavy
cost of politics.
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