Friday, April 4, 2014

The saga of Gilgimarsh (part five)

Rachab was a cute goddess and a flirt and she loved lasagna. Saint Josh had a sweet eye for her and in the middle of the night when the other gods were sleeping he would bring her a basket of lasagna which he would tie to a red cord she would lower from her branch. This 'I – Thou' relationship they both had with the pungency of lasagna was sweet to behold and endeared Saint Josh in the hearts of his fellow tribesmen. A compulsive spy and master of camouflage, he always wore his tinfoil hat on his nightly forays in case the gods were insomniacish. It was just that he was a little shy and the gods can get carried away when they tease. And Justin the Bieber could get pretty obnoxious with his silly girly songs.

It was on these forays that Saint Josh became aware of a discussion within the pantheon on whether a binational solution turned into a leaderless and thus quasi equal society was giving the gods their just due. Gods were supposed to be powerful and awed for their if not magical at least intimidating powers, and by agreeing to implement Betsy the cow's nonviolent proposition they had given up their rights to omnipotent power through regurgitation. After all, gods lived in the heavenly treetops and mortals lived on earth and that was a two state arrangement, Martin the Buber or not. They had been suckered twice already by these olfactory deranged sneaks, once with the strawberry wine and then with those false pole gods, how could they trust these lasagna crazed infatuates?

So Saint Josh decided upon a preemptive strategy to avert a possible airstrike by the missile dropping drones. He got his tribe to simply walk around the outside of the forest without ever saying a word. They did this for seven days and seven nights. He had no idea whatsoever the outcome would be, that was left to fate, he just smiled from ear to ear. At the end of the seven days they gave a loud shout and went home to their cottages. The toulcan gods were mightily impressed by this show of stamina and came to the conclusion that the nutrient value of lasagna must pretty powerful. They henceforth tactfully avoided antagonizing the tribesmen and remained content to multiply in their heavenly tree tops.

Saint Josh made one last foray into the woods wearing his tinfoil hat. When he reached Rachab's branch she slid down the red cord onto Saint Josh's shoulder were she would remain as his constant companion for the rest of their days, in total unity with their pungent lasagna. All the tribesmen and even Justin the Bieber had a tear in their eye.

My job didn't pan out and I honestly have no clue what's in the next episode of “The saga of Gilgimarsh.”
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