Thursday, April 10, 2014

The saga of Gilgimarsh (part eight)


Justin the Bieber was an emanation from the great meadow of Folkvangr. He existed as an apparition, a reconciliation of life, death, hot cars, and girly tunes. His viral classic on Crime and Punishment remained unwritten due to a lack of pens in the yonder world, although it was oft quoted from in the scrolls beyond time. The peoples of Gilgimarsh, whose gods were pretty much palpable critters, where not much aware of what forms apparitions could connive of and because he had been cruising the earth for millenniums they took him for a man beyond his years and wisdom. So when the Biebers next visited and the priestly types asked him what he thought they should do about the new food culture trendies, it was a question far beyond any savvy he had gained in his future mortal days. The question so profoundly confused him that he disintegrated to a wisp and he drifted up to meld with the clouds in the sky. This ascension was viewed with great joy by the trendies as it left the priestly types scratching their heads, and when Midge heard what had happened she laughed and laughed and laughed.

Midge, not unlike Saint Josh, was not a great planner and left earthly matters in the hands of fate. She believed in being herself, helping out where possible, and if her ideas were appropriate they would blossom of their own accord. She continued helping the sick and lots of weird things occurred when she was around. Sometimes Justin the Bieber would drive by in his hot car and she would give him a big wave and then he would be gone. And if she was out catching grasshoppers she just put her basket on the ground and grasshoppers from every direction would jump into it till it was overflowing. Many people were truly amazed.

The priestly types heard many rumours about her so they sent a delegation out to check her out. She seemed to be the instigator behind the trendies foolish ways. They had a good talk and she told them her view on the 'I – Thou' relationship which Saint Josh, thanks to Martin the Buber, had dreamed of establishing with the gods, and that this might be worth their consideration. She looked them over and teased them for being a little overweight and asked if they might consider a little less lasagna, tempting them with a steaming hot bowl of stir fried veggies and grasshoppers flavoured with honey. They were all rather amused at this cave lady and really thought she was totally nuts and when they reported back to the priestly types it was concluded that she was the sole inspiration behind the trendies radical culture. And being set in their ways and not quite sure how Martin the Buber could be applied to gods, when gods were gods and men were men and never the twain shall meet, they started scheming on ways to destabilize the situation. And Justin the Bieber still came by for his 4 a.m. lasagna.


Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.” Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever.          Who knows whats next?
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