Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Eulogy to my good buddy

Handy Randy got caught with your pants down?
Hope you repented in the divine nick of time
The devil won't care over which way you venture
You caused enough heartache in your earthly adventure

Your cat lost his marbles when they covered your carcass
His rampage was ample to deflate the mortician
They called in the exterminator to salvage your shroud
But claws ripped the screened door to avoid an indictment

We will miss you our good bud when we're low on our vittles
To the food bank you'd venture to take in the sermon
Although preachers turned red faced when you mooned them politely
While stuffing your undies with all the good treats

Your rise in your calling was more than exemplary
No locksmith could thwart your quick use of a hairpin
Though cops were befuddled when gathering evidence
That all that went missing was doughnuts and pie

The eagles are circling to take your freed spirit
The vultures are eyeing your cheap shoddy casket
Was all we could gather us vagrant type cadgers
With a sign on the corner read 'help bury a bro'

Rest in peace, good bud
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