Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Silly Harper, silly Putin, silly Angra Mainyu

This blog post is for our several readers in the great country of Russia. Peace be with you. Why you would indulge in our fribbling ambiances is beyond us, perchance to brush up on western Canadian idiosyncrasies, but to reward your curiosity we will give you our insight into the melodrama harrowing our bull headed great leaders. This view may not represent the view of the 25% of Canadians who elected our present majority government, nor will it much more represent the view of any of the rest of us.

At the age of 30, Zoroaster received a revelation. While Zoroaster was fetching water from dawn for a sacred ritual, he saw the shining figure of the yazata, Vohu Manah, who led Zoroaster to the presence of Ahura Mazda, where he was taught the cardinal principles of the Good Religion. As a result of this vision, Zoroaster felt that he was chosen to spread and preach the religion. He stated that this source of all goodness was the only Ahura worthy of the highest worship. He further stated that Ahura Mazda created spirits known as yazatas to aid him, who also merited devotion. Zoroaster proclaimed that all of the daevas were bad spirits and deserved no worship. These "bad" spirits were created by Angra Mainyu, the hostile and evil spirit. The existence of Angra Mainyu was the source of all sin and misery in the universe. Zoroaster claimed that Ahura Mazda was not an omnipotent God, but used the aid of humans in the cosmic struggle against Angra Mainyu. Nonetheless, Ahura Mazda is Angra Mainyu's superior, not his equal. Angra Mainyu and his daevas (spirits) which attempt to afflict humans away from the path of righteousness (oasha) were just silly and would eventually be destroyed. (This is just to complicate the neat pic).

As Prime Minister Stephen Harper was pouring vitriol and sanctions on Russia for months over the Crimea and Ukraine crisis, he did not seem to have expected much of a serious slap-back from President Vladimir Putin. Just as many feared, Canadian F-18s are yet again being sent screaming towards our northern airspace to see off large Russian Tu-95 heavy bombers testing our borders. The word in official circles is that this is “strategic messaging from Moscow” in retaliation for our constant criticism, as well as Canada’s actions to bolster Ukraine, which has just signed an historic trade pact with the European Union that Putin has fought against. The fly-overs have certainly shaken complacency in Ottawa. Defence minister Rob Nicholson told Parliament recently the flights show “the need for ongoing vigilance” as Russian military activity continues in the Arctic. Ottawa didn't anticipate payback. What’s surprising is our surprise. Ottawa did not seem to anticipate such retaliation, even though Russian air probes are an easy and cost-effective way for Putin to harass our defences as payback for our anti-Putin stand in Europe.


We here all rather suspect that our dear Prime Minister is just plain jealous of Putin's ability to influence the throws of the cosmos, and probably also his ability to win election after election. Really, Canada can do little to .... We don't even have a pipeline to ship our sour crude to Europe if they get cut off from the Russian empire. And at last report the railway line to the Port of Churchill, our oil terminal of least resistance, was shut down because a load of toilet tissue was just too heavy for the muskeg.

So Angra Mainyu and his daevas in their silly quest for hostility and evil have afflicted our also silly great leaders away from the path of righteousness. Ahura Mazda's yazatas are presently aiding Pussy Riot and Canada's Elizabeth May among others in the fight for righteousness. By remote viewing, although we are just learning the intricacies, we have ascertained that Putin will, in the not to distant future, become a member of Pussy Riot, and Harper will convert to the Green Party of Canada, and our two countries will share the arctic as the new Atlantis with global warming and all, a cosmic wide victory for righteousness.

In our yearnings for rectitude we leave you with the hope and courage of Aleksandr Blok's poem "Why, Why Forever..."

Why, why forever to the deadly line
I’m pushed unpityingly by blows of the Fortune?
Whether all this, including life of mine,
Are only moments of the endless torture?
I want to live, tho’ heart hasn’t joy inside,
And happiness is just a tale to know,
But I am called in distance by some light,
And it is seemed, that I can have its glow.
Maybe, ‘tis just a spirit – this far blaze!
Maybe, my hopes are lost any ground!
But there – afar, in the unearthly space,
Its rays are ever beautiful and proud!
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