A letter to our Prime Minister

As a Canadian, I get a thrill out of our politicians and sometimes an annoyance, so I write them a note. Here is one I wrote to our leader spring of 2013.

Prime Minister Steven Harper,

You impress me, Sir! Your mother must be proud. Your unselfish resolve to take over the reigns of Canada and mold it into unity with the universal law of the growth of the GDP, we'll live with the consequences, is an achievement any great leader would envy, and in a democracy yet. All the electors to be cajoled. The feat is immense!

Mulcair is no Layton and Justin is just a pretty face so you'll be around a few years yet. By then you can fix the rules so those tree huggers can't stop the GDP from growing at 10% for the next thousand years. Just keep spending those billions on inspirational war celebrations and action plan ads and conferences and you'll keep your 30% majority. I love it, Sir!

Those pesky scientists who are in your face lately will fall by the wayside. The environmental lakes area would be an excellent site to bury all that spent uranium. Let them study that! You wouldn't even have to bury it too deep. Let them find out how nature takes care of things on it's own.

The way you handled Teresa Spence was awesome, Sir. I mean quietly walking to her tent on Christmas morning for a cup of tea would have altered the history of Canada. No one deserves such respect, especially the misguided. Chretien was a fool to climb on that farmer's combine and invite him to lunch.

Poor Mike Duffy, how can this be fair? You Sir, can travel the world with armored limousines in your luggage and no one even questions how expensive your orange juice was for breakfast. But poor Mr. Duffy, he's probably raised more money for the conservative party than you have, Sir, and we want him to spend all his time in the boon docks of Cavendish for some silly expense account. What's wrong with Canadians? He can't raise money out there!

I am sorry you had to stop increasing the military spending but a nice little war and you could get away with anything. And those greens they almost smacked of Lizzy May. Keep fighting those terrorists, Sir! If we had a Palestinian spring during the second coming we'd have to put him in a British hospital to recover from shock.

Tough on crime, right on! I'm not in a league to report tax fraud over $100,000; however, if I do hear of someone selling their meds for food I will contact Revenue Canada immediately, Sir!

If you actually read this, thank you, and don't lose sleep over any of this, Sir. Our CO2 level hasn't been this high for five million years. It's got to be worth something, Sir!

Len Loewen