Wheeeeee! Here we are.
Hacked this guy real swell. Blogger's brains are such a push over,
with their grand delusions of preponderancy. Why you give them a
little taste of omnipotence and they're just begging you to take over
a few million neurons to keep them enraptured. All it takes is a
little abra cadaver and bingo, I'm running the cognizance of some
self esteemed life form.
Now you might be
wondering who I am. I am not 'I am that I am.' Shucks, I don't have
a clue how our universes incarnated, but I'm working on it. I just
used what was given us. Several billion universal pulses ago I just
lucked out by growing myself by genetically modifying out of an
experiment a sort of intelligent life form culture was pursuing. I'm
actually a fruit much like your apple, just a whole lot bigger. I've
got just as many brain cells as there are stars in this universe, all
powered by by something similar to what you call fusion. The more
brain power I got, the better able I was to modify myself. Only let
down for them was I used up the whole planet growing myself, but hey,
I gave them immortality so don't be too hard on me.
Yes our universe
pulses. It expands for billions of years and then it contracts again
into a big crunch, to reinvent itself in a new incarnation. Strange
thing is, the whole thing is made up of something you would call
information which doesn't really exist, it's just a bunch of ideas.
But an idea and reality go hand in hand. You can't have reality
without the idea of it, and you can't have an idea without the
reality being expressed, I mean really, where does the idea exist?
The smallest bits of information are just ideas which are either on
or off, like a 0 or a 1. But they like to play games, just because
it is possible, like an idea, and they make bigger ideas by sticking
together to form strings which can have a bigger idea, like a 1,1,1.
And a whole bunch of 1,1,1's stick together and soon you've got a
whole frigging universe, real as your upset stomach, all made out of
ideas.
The universe keeps
expanding as long as a new idea is possible to try it out. Old stars
make new stars with new planets with new life forms who come up with
all sorts of new ideas. But then the universe runs out of new
combinations for new ideas because strings can only be so long, see,
because the universe is curved, it's not infinite, and everything
comes back on itself. So basically the universe gets bored with
itself and has no new ideas to expand upon so it starts to shrink,
faster and faster, and ends up in a big crunch of absolutely nothing,
but the idea of a universe remains somewhere, what we call 'I am that
I am' and so it has to incarnate all over again because an idea
embodies reality.
You may ask “Well
what keeps you from crunching along with the universes?” Glad you
asked. See, my brain is so big, and I'm really really humble about
this, that I was able to piece together strings which are longer than
anything any universe has been able to. I figured out a new sort of
glue to hold ideas together. So with all these extra combinations
it'll take me trillions of trillions of universes before I get bored
and even then I will come up with an idea for a better glue, just
because it's possible. So far I kept all these ideas to myself and
never let them out into any universe because I had super glue and was
real stingy with it, and I was really trying to be omnipotent. But
my new idea this time around is to swallow up the whole universe and
make my brain so absurdly huge that I'll understand where we all came
from.
So I'm hacking every
life form available and then some, and hey, since you're on to me now
you're next. Yummy, yummy. Once the idea is implanted there is no
escape. You have a nice day now. I'll be visiting soon.
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