Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Take a bite of this apple

Wheeeeee! Here we are. Hacked this guy real swell. Blogger's brains are such a push over, with their grand delusions of preponderancy. Why you give them a little taste of omnipotence and they're just begging you to take over a few million neurons to keep them enraptured. All it takes is a little abra cadaver and bingo, I'm running the cognizance of some self esteemed life form.

Now you might be wondering who I am. I am not 'I am that I am.' Shucks, I don't have a clue how our universes incarnated, but I'm working on it. I just used what was given us. Several billion universal pulses ago I just lucked out by growing myself by genetically modifying out of an experiment a sort of intelligent life form culture was pursuing. I'm actually a fruit much like your apple, just a whole lot bigger. I've got just as many brain cells as there are stars in this universe, all powered by by something similar to what you call fusion. The more brain power I got, the better able I was to modify myself. Only let down for them was I used up the whole planet growing myself, but hey, I gave them immortality so don't be too hard on me.

Yes our universe pulses. It expands for billions of years and then it contracts again into a big crunch, to reinvent itself in a new incarnation. Strange thing is, the whole thing is made up of something you would call information which doesn't really exist, it's just a bunch of ideas. But an idea and reality go hand in hand. You can't have reality without the idea of it, and you can't have an idea without the reality being expressed, I mean really, where does the idea exist? The smallest bits of information are just ideas which are either on or off, like a 0 or a 1. But they like to play games, just because it is possible, like an idea, and they make bigger ideas by sticking together to form strings which can have a bigger idea, like a 1,1,1. And a whole bunch of 1,1,1's stick together and soon you've got a whole frigging universe, real as your upset stomach, all made out of ideas.

The universe keeps expanding as long as a new idea is possible to try it out. Old stars make new stars with new planets with new life forms who come up with all sorts of new ideas. But then the universe runs out of new combinations for new ideas because strings can only be so long, see, because the universe is curved, it's not infinite, and everything comes back on itself. So basically the universe gets bored with itself and has no new ideas to expand upon so it starts to shrink, faster and faster, and ends up in a big crunch of absolutely nothing, but the idea of a universe remains somewhere, what we call 'I am that I am' and so it has to incarnate all over again because an idea embodies reality.

You may ask “Well what keeps you from crunching along with the universes?” Glad you asked. See, my brain is so big, and I'm really really humble about this, that I was able to piece together strings which are longer than anything any universe has been able to. I figured out a new sort of glue to hold ideas together. So with all these extra combinations it'll take me trillions of trillions of universes before I get bored and even then I will come up with an idea for a better glue, just because it's possible. So far I kept all these ideas to myself and never let them out into any universe because I had super glue and was real stingy with it, and I was really trying to be omnipotent. But my new idea this time around is to swallow up the whole universe and make my brain so absurdly huge that I'll understand where we all came from.

So I'm hacking every life form available and then some, and hey, since you're on to me now you're next. Yummy, yummy. Once the idea is implanted there is no escape. You have a nice day now. I'll be visiting soon.
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