Friday, October 31, 2014

Insight beyond the wildest of dreams

At every level in our inventory, nothing seems special about our Earth, our Sun, our Galaxy, our Local Group. Evidently, mediocrity reigns throughout. Such is our niche in the Universe. Eric Chaisson

Fellow Canadians, we must pull together in this time of retrospect to achieve a workable drollery in retaining our pensive mediocrity. We must also, at the same time, cater austerely to the whims of all our diverse and salient traditions. Without them all our mediocrity would vaporize into a thin waft of tenaciousness. Even our drippy economy might succumb to stagnation or even worse a humiliating amelioration.

As we Canadians dawdle along into the 21st century we must remember with courage our heroes of past eras such as Joe Clark and Kim Campbell who filled us with substance and truth and gave us the will to chuckle amiably at those with overtures of grandeur. Lest we find ourselves succumbing to the tides of uncouth heroism in a ravaged and unsustainable world, let us not forget these gurus who taught us well the workings of commonplaceness.

The brain freeze of winter ensures a great lacklustre so that we can achieve a sopor fathomless enough to enjoy the solitude of summer in our lakeside cottages. To canoe along the waterways in peaceful bliss is the one and only reason why all our divergent traditions have alighted on this unencumbered piece of real estate on the northern fringes of habitable abandon. Even the geese stay as long as old man winter holds his breath.

Wars will be wars, let them be fought by peoples in climes unravaged by ice and snow. We have enough to fill our minds with the fortitude needed to deal with a dead car at 40 below and a driveway blown in with four feet of snow. And if Putin wants to drill for oil where it's minus 80 with a 50 mph wind for 8 months every year in our disputed Arctic regions let him. It's his whiskers. They better bring a good supply of vodka.

Our nation has had it's great and envisaging politicians, men and women who were elected by the robust few who could get their car started on election morning, or by those whose canoes were still frozen in the reeds come a spring vote, or by those so bedazzled by the new greenery around them that they felt sure the gods must be in favour of the incumbents and had to pay homage. These politicians envisaged a Canada where people actually accomplished something in winter and didn't just spend the whole day warming up for the way home if they faithfully made it in. They envisaged cities filled with residents who stayed home from the lake in summer to carry out great business dealings which could bring in some tax revenue. But alas, the cold froze our brains and lacklustre ensured the ensuing mediocrity and come spring everyone bolted for their cottages to join the geese on our nations abundant waterways.

We have a very few in our Canada who wish to destabilize our mediocrity and bring forth concepts unthought of while bucking three foot drifts on the way to the curling rink. They have not achieved the drollery needed to sustain a lacklustre survival instinct which Canadian life depends upon in their new or first generation environment. Give them a decade of ice and snow and they will not even remember legends of warmer climes where insights into the human condition were fought over. We need to give them a canoe so their frozen brains can then soper fathomlessly in summer unbesieged by the remnant of forlorn city slickers. This is the only real Canadian solution and is guaranteed to work miracles on anyone's delusions of grandeur and it's as mediocre as it comes.

As is unrelentingly always the case these wild insights will ne'er be scrutinized as our brains freeze up for winter and we dream of endless waterways where we can meander with the geese in total oblivion. Our pensive mediocrity is safe no matter what we do.
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