Garlic Hornswoggler

Our personas all got together and came to a major decision in our life.  It is rough, these life altering decisions, just as traumatic as the day you decide no longer to suck your thumb, or sneaking that first cup of coffee and getting ripped.  But we have decided to live together as one peaceful mind in perfect harmony with our disabled body.  We will become none other than Garlic Hornswoggler who lives in the bush on the back 40 with his chickens and cows and pigs and other friends and of course our unwitting wife (we did obtain consent but she forgot within three minutes so we just put her in the pickup and she thinks we're on a vacation).

So we invite both of our faithful followers to come with us to http://lifeintheback40.blogspot.ca/ and endure more of the same old same old, but perhaps from a little less diverging perspective.  The coffee's always on at "Life in the back 40."  Take care.

Fun with allegories

Fun with allegories (just like fun with Dick and Jane)

Since we're all in the car careening along with our dear Prime Minister here, “There's a liberal Steve, eh, you nailed him real good!” we can discuss with him some of our favourite topics like AI (that's artificial intelligence in case you're parsimonious and don't read much science fiction), or how humans are evolving spider like mutations so we can survive the coming extinction event (we have spiderman to prove this), or the war on drugs, that continuing battle to cover up the history of the magic manna, that spiritual nutrient which flavoured our major religions.

We'll stick to facts here, or at least plausible conjectures, since Stevie isn't too keen on conspiracy stuff, “There's another one, Steve, biking in the traffic.” Now the good book says that woman created god in her own image, and we may get a few things dyslexically inverted here, and made her prone to peripheral dyslexia (that's the snake for the allegorically attenuated), an impairment to processes that convert letters on the page into abstract representations, more or less. So it was that she read the good book, being omnipotent and knowing what it was going to say, she created a literal rendering of those letters on the page and to our amazement she did it in six days flat. Wow. “Look out for that pothole, Steve, it's full of worthless dirty tar.”

Allegory can be much like politics, with differing layers of allusion, like the truth, a little truth, or no truth at all. Just like conspiracy theories. “That's an NDPer jay walking over there Stevie, leave him live, he'll split the vote for you.” But would the truth set us free? Truth seems to be also an allegory with “The truth shall set you free” speaking of a higher form of knowledge than is capable of being learned in parliament. So truth is really all allegory? No wonder she was created prone to dyslexia (that's the snake again), we've got to make sense of our world somehow. Those awesome vermin.

“There's a lonely conservative, Steve, better give him a lift to the polling booth quick before that snake over there gets him.”

Old fogeys and nice bank tellers

Old fogeys just don't have a clue about the goings on of the younger generations. That's a good thing because we can live languorously in our neat little homes with sheeny floors and the counter tops all spic and span. We can sit in the arm chair and read our morning paper with no distractions from those vexatious ring tones, our phone hanging on the wall still having that little bell that dingles just right. Life is good with a bowl of corn flakes in the morning and some toast and a good cup of coffee to wash it down. We don't have a clue what Taylor Swift or Eminem sound like and that's the way we like it. Our kids are all grown up and they're too smart for our advice anyhow and their little rug rats find us boring so we don't have to sanitize after their invasions too often, them being catechized in the precariousness of nature unless it's commingled in a plastic case.

Having been born way back when the phone was a party line and the biffy was outside down the hill and you canned your veggies for the coming winter, we kind of gave up on keeping up with novelizations after about the tenth wave came along. The automatic transmission was about as fancy as we could handle life. So with all due respect, you can stick your iPhones where the sun don't shine. We can walk hand in hand down the garden path chuckling at that red breasted robin pulling a six inch worm out of the manicured lawn. They've been around way longer than us and probably view us as an interesting upstart.

That's a bit of background to the encounter we had at the bank the other day, the place we go to get a bit of cash for places that don't take cheques. It seemed like if we wanted cash we now needed our bank card. Well. We'd had this account for forty five years and never ran into this triviality before. Apparently we were to have gotten one when we opened our account. Right, so we wafted through our stack of little papers nestled in our wallet which hadn't been looked at for nigh on twenty years and low and behold there it was, a little tattered and faded, but we proudly displayed the still legible neatly hand written account number. The nice teller, she looked at the card and then she looked at us and then she looked at the card again and then she looked at us again and if we hadn't been all smiling just pleased with ourselves for finding our bank card we believe she would have called security.

We came home and showed our wife the new plastic bank card that the nice teller had given us and our wife was highly impressed. It would probably last longer than the forty five years the old one did, and it works swell for sorting our pills when we put them in their weekly containers. And for the secret number I told her just remember “In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue,” and we both agreed that we could remember that even under the duress of recall in the bank line.

Yep, old fogeys they tend to exaggerate a mite once in a while, but then when your a livin' in an incomprehensible world a little tomfoolery is good for the soul. Keeps the young ones on their toes, especially the nice bank tellers.

Bedazzled in bliss

There was this car, a Ford Fiesta and pretty much new, hanging from the middle of the Provencher Bridge right across from the fancy restaurant on the Esplanade Riel here in Winterpeg on about six bungee cords. This is a fairly common occurrence here in Winterpeg, though with a Ford Fiesta it is a rarity, ever since a trailer load of bungee cords went astray on it's way from China to Canada's eastern townships. These occurrences never get reported upon by the media due to their involving tribes of modern warriors set on outdoing each other with their hanky panky which are better left unpublicized due to the glorification which may enhance the prestige of said occurrences.

Since modern technology has made cars pretty much undriveable without the key chip, these warriors of the asphalt jungle have taken to snatching up these cars from their nesting places and hiding them in strange locations, much to the consternation of the parents involved. The load of bungee cords just made this thievery that much more fun. It took awhile for these guys to figure out the proper length so the cars wouldn't get wet, or in winter to get flattened on the ice, but they've got er figured pretty close now. About a dozen warriors can pick up the front end and push that car over a mile in less than fifteen minutes and they know where and what wire to snip to keep the cackle hushed. They send a couple scouts out ahead with the cords and a good hook and when the car arrives they just hook it on and throw it over the curb. Then they run like the wind.

Now this Ford Fiesta, besides that it was a rarity due to this models notoriety which is probably why they picked it, was an exception to the norm when Able Craning hoisted it from the deluge and set it gently on firm footing. In the back seat was these two passed out dudes who had no clue what had happened when they awoke the next afternoon in the slammer. Even sitting in front of a fan with the window ajar wouldn't bring back the faintest, so they put their shirts back on and left it up to their lawyer who got them released after none of their finger prints were found in the car and they figured out someone must have infused them in that back seat while they were bedazzled in bliss.

The moral of this apologue is obviously to lock your doors if bedazzling yourself in bliss, and if'n you drive a Ford Fiesta, well, don't park near the Provencher Bridge.

On disagreeing well

All of us personas, we talk on the tele once a week with our 93 year old mom because she's really quite interesting. She read, once, one of our satirical type scrutiny of our dear Prime Minister and she says “Are you always that cynical?” We got to thinking maybe there's a better way to achieve happiness than fermenting someone's character with put downs so we researched a bit on happiness. We happened upon http://www.paulgraham.com/disagree.html on “How to Disagree.” Paul Graham writes that if we disagree “well” we will be happier, and that we can do this simply refuting the central point of our contention with others and avoiding being mean to them.

So, we got on the Conservative Party of Canada's web site and looked for a central point. Under the heading of “Where we stand” we found three headings: 1) Jobs, Growth and Long-term Prosperity, 2) Keeping our Streets and Communities Safe, and 3) Supporting Families. We read through these strategies and found they would cater well to reasonably affluent Canadians with some education and a bit of confidence in their demeanour. This was the central point, other than that it seemed this was Stephen Harper's Party more than the Conservative Party of Canada, and this could well be the central point but we'll leave that alone because it may be mean.

To explain why we found here a central point, we must explain where we live. We live in the West End of Winnipeg in Deathrock Apartments and for the second time in less than a month we went to the crumbling subterranean level today with a basket of dirty laundry only to find the washer and dryer slightly dismantled with a wrecking bar to fleece them of their coins. Now we reread the “Where We Stand” items of the Conservative Party of Canada and could find nothing which would have helped us do our dirty laundry either today or tomorrow. Even the section on investing $253 million a year for over five years in affordable housing projects (which might build one apartment complex somewhere in Canada per year) wouldn't help us as $450 a month is quite affordable for us as we proudly support a couple of the richest brothers in Canada whose major strategy is obviously to keep us well sheltered.

Taking issue with the central point, which involves reasonably affluent Canadians and slightly dismantled washers and dryers, we did a bit more research and found that Canada spends $13 billion on law enforcement and $9 billion annually on corrections, that being about $100,000 per inmate 70% of who test below a grade 8 literacy level. All these billions don't get our laundry done, and that is the central point here, the Conservative Party of Canada doesn't care about our dirty laundry and neither do most reasonably affluent Canadians, not that we blame them. That wrecking bar didn't dismantle our washer and dryer by itself and it wasn't welded by a reasonably affluent Canadian in all probability. It was welded by one of those corrections wannabes so they could achieve manhood and get a proper education in the art of transgression. CPC pandering to the reasonably affluent inadvertently rings these dudes bells.

We're not saying here that the Liberal Party of Canada or the New Democratic Party of Canada or even the Green Party don't cater to the reasonably affluent, it is a matter of degree. We can back this statement up by citing income splitting and the lowering of the GST among several CPC initiatives. The following suggestions which will actually get our laundry done can therefore be taken to heart by all parties involved although the CPC can enjoy the greatest critique, it's a matter of degree. My goodness gracious, this disagreeing well is making us happy.

Although we acknowledge the ideological resistance to them, we will throw out the following comments which come from a different perspective:

1. Violence seems to be one of the least studied issues facing our society. Understanding the infectious nature of aggression and violence is essential to preventing it. We need to treat violence as contagion to understand this as an epidemiological process http://www.wired.com/2013/01/violence-is-contagious/. Modern police tactics, incarceration, and a media and games which thrive on violence all make for a very confrontational society. Mudslinging politics with much nondisclosure also breeds antagonism. Corporations who with the support of governments resort to coercion, and this can be as subtle as a retailer intimidating it's suppliers, increase ill will in and among nations. If we set out to create a more violent world, we could not do much better.

Besides violence breeding more violence, biological causes have also been identified. Ongoing chemical exposures change the brain, and cause people to display uncharacteristic behaviour including sudden anger, irritability, and even violent outbursts. The most common offender is ethanol, contained in a wide range of products: natural gas, gasoline, some paints, automobile exhaust, alcohols, soft plastics, some hand lotions and perfumes, disinfectant cleaners, hydrocarbons. The most common reactions are fatigue, exhaustion, spaciness, irritability, mental confusion and depression. The magnitude and severity of these responses is startling: sudden intense anger, tears and sobbing, falling asleep, the sudden inability to think or speak coherently. As mankind awakens, perhaps those of us with sensitivities will be taken seriously and society can have a good look at the products we use.
 
Evidence greatly suggests that increases in poverty lead to increased violent crime. http://economics.fundamentalfinance.com/povertycrime.php Poverty causes feelings of vulnerability. When these feelings such as shame, humiliation, fear, or loss are tended to, protective aggression tends to dissipate. People need food and shelter and a pursuit in life. Providing jobs, our present preoccupation, leaves much to be desired. Many jobs are humanly degrading and don't pay enough to provide food and shelter. Many jobs do not inspire a meaningful pursuit in life and use up valuable resources for a society addicted to distractions. It is time to look at other alternatives, and there are some which do not include repressive dictatorships. A program called “Mincome” was implemented in Dauphin, Manitoba in 1974 to guarantee a minimum income to every resident in town. In 1979 the Conservative Party came into power in Ottawa and researchers were told to pack up the project’s records into 1,800 boxes and place them in storage. A final report was never released. Studies of the project carried out over the last decade have shown it had significant overall benefits. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/12/23/mincome-in-dauphin-manitoba_n_6335682.html


2. If humanity has a soul, treat the 50% of the 90,000 incarcerated Canadians who have mental illness for their disease. Our society mends broken bones but balks at mending broken minds. It could not be accomplished overnight, but as a long term strategy it would do wonders to help the well being of these folk. If it became a long term priority to provide the proper infrastructure for this treatment the cost per inmate would actually be less as some could be released into proper outpatient care: http://www.northcarolinahealthnews.org/2013/07/01/nc-state-study-shows-why-it-costs-less-to-treat-mentally-ill-than-incarcerate-them/.

3. This next postulate may sound a bit preposterous but it's given to further a debate. If offenders of the less hideous crimes were simply released and given half of what it costs to keep them incarcerated in semi-monthly payments, it would be unlikely that they would take a wrecking bar to our washer and dryer for an average of 10 bucks in chump change, which is what we are trying to achieve here. The question is what would they do with $50,000 a year? From the chumps I know in the West End here, they'd probably buy a car of their own and get a drivers license, and take their girl friend out for supper. For the most of them, they just want to be a more equal part of society. Who knows, they might even go to school or become artistically gifted. It would be an interesting study would it not?

4. Do we really want to get those incarceration wannabes who wreck washers and dryers into a mindset which does not involve transgressions? Many people on the fringe of our society question the “why” of the way we live. 50% of the world's population live on less than $2.50 per day http://www.statisticbrain.com/world-poverty-statistics/. The way middle class western society lives is incomprehensible to most of these folks. Our way of life is ecologically unsustainable for the total population of our earth, it isn't even sustainable for ourselves http://www2.energybulletin.net/node/46276. Yet we march onward with the biggest goal in mind to create jobs and sustain our way of life. Many who don't fit in well see the perplexity, and many don't fit in well because they see the perplexity. Many become disillusioned and wreck washers and dryers for chump change so they can get high and consign to oblivion. So we chastise them for not being as brainwashed as ourselves and punish them accordingly so we can perpetuate our myth. Whose transgressions are we really punishing?

When we read the Conservative Party of Canada's “Where we stand” it is hard not to be cynical. Our 93 year old mom would say “Well, do something positive about it,” so we disagreed well, mom. It's hard not to be cynical of the results though.

Salsa de Cranberry

Ingrediēns:

*One package red ripe cranberries (rinsed in cold water if'n yer fussy)

*About two (2) cups water depending on how juicy you wants em

*One quarter (1/4) cup sugar unless you gots a sweet tooth then you better put in a whole whop more

Fabricationem:

*In a pot that don't leak to bad boil yer water 'n sugar. They always says boil it fer five (5) minutes but we's never seen no use fer it 'n it maken no difference so long as it boils.

*Dump in yer icky clean cranberries 'n keep boilin the whole mess. Them cranberries gunno start popin. Don't hide it bein pretty normal. When they's all done poppin you turns down yer heat a mite and lets em simmer (thet's a real fancy word fer letin em cook real slow like) fer abouts fifteen (15) minutes till yer gots a nice red mush.

*If'n yer pot leaks, put the whole mess in a bowl that don't leak an put it in the cooler till yer salsa is cool (as in cold)

Vescor:

Yer gets yerself a bowl of ice cream now (the old fashioned hard kind) an yer puts a big scoop of yer cool salsa on top. Now you enjoy, cause we sure do n we likes to share our happinesses.

On the Origin of Oligarchy

“On the Origin of Oligarchs,” a work even less widely read than Stephen Harper's “A Great Game,” is a work of nescientific literature which is considered to be the foundation of autocratic politics. Its full title was “On the Origin of Oligarchs by Means of Monied Manipulation, or the Preservation of Favoured Elite in the Struggle for Control of the Masses.” For the sixth edition which was leaked to the masses by some Edward Snowden type character, the short title was changed to “The Origin of Oligarchs.” This book was written in the vaults of some right wing political think tank in the late 20^th century and introduced the nescientific theory that political oligarchs evolve over the course of a mere generation through a process enabled by sociopathism. It presented a body of evidence that sociopathic control of the masses was enabled by these masses ignorance descending from a branching pattern of their subservient family tree history. It included evidence obviously gathered from the floor of a mail room at Imperial Oil in the late 1970s and resorted to findings from biased research, correspondence with the rich and powerful, and experiments involving manipulation and mind control.

Various theories of empowerment had already been floated to explain new concepts in social manipulation through sociopathic oligarchs. There was growing support for such ideas among old school billionaires and the general elite, but during the 19^th and 20^th centuries the monied elitist establishment was closely tied to the Roman Catholic Church, while the concept of acceptable sociopathism was more part of evangelical protestant theology. Ideas about the condoning of sociopathic qualities in leadership were controversial as they conflicted with the beliefs that our species should be governed by those with more balanced personalities. The political and theological implications were intensely debated, but sociopathic qualities in oligarchs became more acceptable by the old school elite into the 21^st century.

After the death of Pierre Trudeau in 2000, our Prime Minister Steven Harper wrote an editorial criticizing Trudeau's policies as they affected Western Canada. He wrote that Trudeau "embraced the fashionable causes of his time, with variable enthusiasm and differing results", but "took a pass" on the issues that "truly defined his century". http://www.macleans.ca/politics/ottawa/awkward/. Harper subsequently accused Trudeau of promoting "unabashed socialism", and argued that Canadian governments between 1972 and 2002 had restricted economic growth through "state corporatism." It is obvious that this editorial was heavily influenced by “On the Origin of Oligarchs” and that he had gained the wisdom that leaders with balanced personalities actually listening to the general population and attempting to implement the best possible legislation for the masses was seldom good for the monied elite.

According to reports surfacing from the National Post, Stephen Harper is also a great fan of Joseph Stalin's leadership style. Harper over the years has apparently styled himself after the former Soviet dictator, utilizing portions of Stalin's philosophy in order to divide his troops, pitting friend against friend, in order to keep himself in power. A senior conservative cabinet minister (who asked that the national post do not release his name) claims that: Harper had “read and mastered” the biography and leadership style of Russia’s Communist dictator Josef Stalin, and said the prime minister has adopted some of the same tactics. “He plays people off against one another, he attempts to inspire fear rather than respect, he is unpredictable and he is 100% focused on eliminating the opposition,” the senior Conservative explained. “In fact, Harper is so intense on getting rid of the opposition that he cannot focus on any other task except for that, and this is why the other policies of the government have taken such a back burner position.

The most important thing is to obtain a majority, at all costs, so that our party might move forward on our agenda, without the input of any other parties in parliament. We have expended as much energy in stymieing the opposition, as we have in developing policy and programs.” https://jimbender.wordpress.com/2006/09/18/harper-studies-the-philosophy-of-joseph-stalin/

As our 21^st century putters on, “On the Origin of Oligarchs” highlights our world's politics, including Canada's, with sociopathic leaders of the manipulated masses fighting sociopathic terrorists bent on also manipulating the masses. It will be known as the century of sociopaths.

(“Sweet Words” is a blog written by a group of personas who happen to inhabit the same body. We as a group take absolutely no responsibility for anything any one of them may extrapolate on.)

Freedom of the blog

With freedom of the press being in everyone's fancy right now we, our twelve personas that is, decided to tackle a rather delicate subject here on Sweet Words. With our internal dilemma of having disparaging views on the perplexities of the redneckèd way of life, we feel ourselves the perfect doohickey for tackling consternating topics. So we all had a rather lively debate on which delicate topic to tackle today here.

We discussed examining the pros and cons of displaying nude pics of key political figures in the hopes of furthering the examination of their ideologies, however since this is a really polite blog and we all find attired folk more appealing to behold anyhow, especially politicians, we decided to circumvent that opportunity. So we all settled on the issue of simply expounding our Prime Minister with imperfect tenderness.

Our Prime Minister being perfectly tender already, you can tell by the porky beady little eyes, it doesn't take much of a leap to expound his pompousness. It's all in the degree of perfection, or imperfection as it were, to roast him with. Total perfection is really hard to achieve, so one of the pros for expounding imperfectly is that it's just plain easier. With his illusory uprooting of laws preserving the Canadian ecological landscape, and his chastising of scientists and government workers for their insights, not to mention his tendency to provoke ill regard from other nations by his cockamamy nescience, he leaves us ample room to expound partially.

On the other hand this expounding with imperfection may lead to some nasty consequences. We may end up on the conservative party bad persons list which would open us up to audits from Revenue Canada, although for us that would be a breeze since we've been living off the good will of CPP Disability for the last decade and have x-rays and scans to prove our missing body parts and blood tests to confirm some pestiferous diseases for which the auditors would need avail themselves of full body suits with gloves and masks to cipher our contaminated documents. The more serious consequence may be trying to cross the border to the belovèd country to the south where border guards who disdain bribes unmercifully extort cherished passwords to our mediocre philanderings in hopes of saving their beleaguered citizens from our drivel.

We all think, our personas that is, that we're reasonably safe then, unless our dear Prime Minister can't rig the votes and gets defeated in our next round of balloting. We strongly feel that he may then resort to a coup d'etat, with his admiration for the diplomacy prevalent in banana republics, and his strong standing with the soldiery hetmen who's main purpose is to increasingly protect the endeavours of the rich and powerful. But then young Trudeau has a few tricks up his sleeve so us common folk would have some days of respite to watch CBC be as impartial as ever.

Our somewhat redneckèd mechanic was lost in his own thoughts all through this discussion so we asked him on his valued opinion. He says “Whatever cranks your tractor guys, but I thinks this here primed minister, he's slicker than a bald tire semi on a patch of black ice, and I thinks we oughts to mind yer Qs an' Ps or we's all be bankrolin' his next photo op.” So we have it here, a somewhat unanimous reckoning that freedom of the press can be a rather delicate subject to be expounded with some delicacy especially with our somewhat perfectly tendered Prime Minister.

Really

My wife loves purses, that's the one with a touch of dementia, the wife that is. She also loves fancy reading glasses but that's really not relevant because she loses them really quick like, them not being as big as purses usually, and them being reading glasses she really doesn't need them to find her purses which she loses too.

I'd really not like to get involved with her purses, them being purses and me being a guy. But that is not the way life works, at least for us. Purses are made to put stuff in, and my wife uses this concept to it's full advantage. If something will fit in her purse, the one she's using at the moment, and this something is missing in action, there's a 72.3% chance it will be in her purse. The problem here is finding her purse, really.

My wife, the one with the touch of dementia, in case you can't remember which one we were talking about, and I've become really good at making sure we're all within the same triangulation when dealing with these really big concepts... now I forgot what I was talking about.

My wife used to have her id strewn or scattered or lost, it's really hard to pick out the appropriate concept here, in every nook and cranny available for little pieces of paper and plastic which may or may really not play a significant role in her life. So me, really for my own self regalement, being more than a little concerned about never again finding one of these really unimportant pieces, went out to Walmart, of course, really, and up and bought her a handy dandy little fold with a thousand pockets for plastic and papers and salt packets and sugar packets and rubber bands and safety pins and paper clips. And it had a zipper which if it was used would zip the whole thing up into a secure pouch so my wife could lose everything all at once. It would make life simpler, really.

My wife loves her little fold with a thousand pockets and the zipper to zip the whole thing up. You wouldn't even want to know what she keeps in it and neither would I. She has never to this day lost her handy dandy little fold. She just loses the purse that it's currently hiding in. And that gets us back to purses in case you forgot what we were really talking about.

She changes them, her purses. Sometimes three times a day. Really. She gets tired of using one so she takes everything out and sorts through it and puts most of it back in another one, and then she misplaces it and we can spend an enjoyable adventure finding which chest or drawer or fridge compartment or perchance the oven it has run off to. And then she realizes that she's been using that purse for a really, really long time and it's time to change again so she happens upon a different model and...

I love my wife really lots, you know, it just helps to write this stuff sometimes to keep me sane, really.

And yet we dream

Up from who knows where they arise

Mighty spinsters in velvet draped

Roaring in stealth they come relentlessly

Our hearts are all aflame

Is sad some crash and and take a roll

Plucky britches thrown in the brink

Refreshing though they have a drink

We cheer, they'll romp another day

The army numbering multitudes now

On march in scandalous hordes no end in sight

A pleasing tapestry by stretch of mind

Our cheering wanes, are we enchanted?

Our thoughts and hopes envision glory

The dreams of youth come racing daringly

As age creeps on we contemplate warily

These shysters all they have their gall

And yet we dream

Science transforms chocolate from mere candy into superfood.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/chocolate-health-myth-dissolves-1.2879898

Lefties & righties

Prediction for 2015... Canada will have a federal election.

Lifetime rate of accuracy on predictions... 100%.

Resolution for 2015... Not to expound our Prime Minister with imperfect tenderness.

Lifetime rate for keeping resolutions... 0%

Lefties, southpaws. These terms describe a misunderstood group of people: left-handers. Lefties have been unfairly treated for hundreds of years. Lefties were thought to be dominated by the right hemisphere of the brain which deals with music, art, perception, emotions, and other forms of abstract thinking. With no left handed politician in the running for the 2015 election, Canada is in for more concrete heavy footed mathematical economic foolishness designed to keep our economy flourishing in a very crass manner to vanquish the 90% majority of right-handers, although many of these must be a touch ambidextrous because by their voting preferences they tend not all to support the total deregulation of banking, commerce, and industry.

 

Enmity against left-handers is thought to have begun with ancient sun worship. Most of these sun worshippers lived in the northern hemisphere and faced south when worshipping the sun. Under these conditions, the sun appears to move from left to right. Since the sun moved toward the right, ancient peoples saw everything related to the right "good" and everything having to do with the left as "bad."

The concept of left and right in political terms was coined during the French Revolution, and referred to where politicians sat in the French parliament; those who sat to the right of the chair of the parliamentary president were broadly supportive of the institutions of the monarchist régime. Throughout the 19th century, the main line dividing left and right in France was between supporters of the republic and supporters of the monarchy. This left - right terminology got itself exported to the British and the Americans and eventually to everywhere else including Canada.

Over time, progressives, communists, social-liberals, greens, social-democrats, socialists, democratic-socialists, left-libertarians, secularists, feminists, autonomists, anti-imperialists, anti-capitalists, and anarchists all got labelled as lefties. Conservatives, reactionaries, neoconservatives, traditionalists, capitalists, neoliberals, right-libertarians, social-authoritarians, monarchists, theocrats, nationalists and fascists all got labelled as righties. The derogatory way the words are often used displaces real dialogue about policy by raising emotional prejudice against a preconceived notion of what the terms mean. In our modern complex world we actually combine political, economic and social dimensions and there are no political parties without some mix of socialistic and capitalistic values. The more extreme a government becomes in either direction, the more military force is needed to maintain it.

Today, neuroscientists know that the two sides of the brain work together to perform a wide variety of tasks and that the two hemispheres communicate through the corpus collosum. Recent research has shown that abilities in subjects such as math are actually strongest when both halves of the brain work together. The front portion of the corpus callosum though, has been reported to be significantly larger in musicians than nonmusicians, and to be 11% larger in left-handed and ambidextrous people than right-handed people.

Brains and politics, politics and brains. When both sides of either work together, communicating through their respective corpus collosums, we come up with our most sensible ambiances. Being a leftie however I still have a tendency to expound our Prime Minister with imperfect tenderness. It really has to do with my corpus collosum and ancient sun worship.