Garbage Terrorists

Found this nailed to our entrance.  Caretaker must have rite him a note.  Don't know how he finds time to help out like this :)     Strange though, we don't even have a recycling bin cause it had a habit of being burnt to the ground.

A Message from Prime Minister S. Harper to the tenants of Deathrock Apartments

We have been made aware of a grave concern for all Canadians. We have a growing proportion of tenants at Deathrock Apartments whose minds are being mislead by the garbage terrorists of our new age. These terrorists are attacking scientifically, pier reviewed principles such as the growth of the GDP, and the recycling of garbage to save our planet.

Our economic free market system and the concept of recycling are unquestionable laws – realities of our universe. We must have economic growth and keep increasing our GDP for everything to function properly. That is how we create money so everyone can have their fair share.

The free market rewards those who work hard and are honest and pay their debts. Dishonesty, laziness, and sinful overspending should not be rewarded. Anyone who works hard, saves, and recycles can and will make it. Being poor and hungry is a good incentive to go to work and recycle.

Recycling by leaving your recyclables in the recycling bins so conveniently provided at the rear of your building is a reality of our new age. Recycling laziness will lead to depression and drug abuse which is exactly what the garbage terrorists wish to achieve so they can sell you more drugs.

In order to save the people of Canada from the garbage terrorists who are trying to undermine these scientific principles, the Harper Conservative Government's Action Plan for Canada is going to move forward with the following important directive:

We will be building large detainment centers as our neighbor to the south has had to do. The garbage terrorists are extremely intelligent people and in our fight against terror we must use every means possible to stop their propaganda. Our present penal institutions are almost full of common criminals so we need places to detain those amongst us who aim to poison our minds by leaving recyclable garbage on the ground, promoting a zero growth economy, or making the arts a full time work instead of something you do in the evening for relaxation. These ideas must be and will be stopped.

The Harper Conservative Government was elected by Canadians and we will continue to talk with you so we can continue to change our country to make it more the way you want your country to be. We are committed to fighting garbage terrorism and we will look after this grave concern for you.

One small step to the recycling bin is one large step for mankind!

Your friend, Stevie