Sunday, August 31, 2014

Does Stephen Harper really exist?

Saw this in the comment section of The Globe and Mail. Pretty funny.

“They say this cat Harper is a bad mother
Shut your mouth!
I'm talkin' 'bout Harper.
Then we can dig it!
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman”
(appropriated from Isaac Hayes - Theme From Shaft Lyrics)

This Harper dude is definitely as fictional as John Shaft. No one could be that... bad? The Conservative Party of Canada installed a fabricated hambone, played by Stephen Harper, as leader of their revenge on the liberal policies which have blessed Canada in the hearts and minds of nations all around the world. It took years of training and brainwashing to enable an understudy to consistently spew the rhetoric involved in subverting the aims and desires of us average Canadians, and to totally vaporize any good will bestowed upon us by the world's citizenry.

They found him in an oil company's mail room and jumped up and down and said “ We found our chump, he'll be perfect”. They set him up with a few investments which panned out to make him think he was genius and voila, an abductee pilfered from magnanimous Upper Canada as no Albertan could possibly be so becoming to the liberaly impaired.
To use the actors real name as the rallying cry was a real brain stormer. They pampered him, and coddled him till he became so pompous that his catechistic delusions of leading the corporate barons in conquering first Canada and then the world became a textbook case of domineering schizophrenia. Beholden to no one it becomes obvious that he is controlled by hypnotic suggestion to unquestioningly proliferate the biddings of his masters.

It will be an interesting day when he loses office. Will his mind disintegrate?  Will his body return to the mail room?  Will his cat still recognize him? As my good wife says, “I don't care if he wears green underwear”.

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