Thursday, May 29, 2014

Girl next door please run for Prime Minister of Canada

Our neighbourhood had a watermain break and the less than healthy pipe took them several days to patch. We all had a great time discussing politics while filling our containers from the leaky tank they parked so conveniently in the middle of the street. The consensus was that that nice lady with the purple hair would make the best Prime Minister Canada had ever had. Even the local cats and dogs agreed.

She was a kind, unassuming, and honest woman. She tended to represent the better choice over a flashier, more provocative or crueler woman. She had no concern for social status, was shy and modest, but still gave you that "she seems so nice, I'd love to talk to her" feeling.

What do we like about her? 

There are so many characteristics of this girl-next-door that qualify as good or virtuous. These are things we've come to look for in a politician, which earn the respect of our sensitive side.

1) She's a homebody. She cooks, cleans and is not afraid of being at home, helping out with chores. As a Prime Minister she would undoubtedly help out on a daily basis with running the country and not trek all over the world to be viewed as a misguided schmo.
2) She's nurturing and sweet. Unlike so many of the Prime Ministers we've had who had militant stances against being nice to us simply because we were citizens, she's understanding of our needs and is willing to take care of us. Her sweet demeanour — and knowing that what goes around comes around — makes us want to be with her and take care of her in kind.

3) She doesn't attract attention. She's "under the radar," so to speak. She doesn't need armoured limousines everywhere she goes because she prefers to remain low-key, both in her appearance and her attitude. She's neither a twit nor is she flashy; she has that natural beauty that doesn't require fresh makeup for every photo op.

4) She's predictable and safe. What you see is what you get. You'll always know where you stand with her, as well as where she stands on any given topic. There's no guesswork involved and that makes her a welcome change from all the Prime Ministers who've played head games with us before.
5) She's low maintenance. This is one of her best qualities. We won't have to constantly remodel parliament hill to keep her content. She even enjoys just slumming-it. Jeans and a T-shirt are fashionable enough for a stroll around town.
6) She has family values. Because she comes from a solid family upbringing, she believes in the importance of family. She would make parliament into a truly democratic institution with an equal say for all her 'kids'.

7) She has a good personality. The girl next door is easygoing and able to joke around with us about all kinds of topics. We can go anywhere with her and she treats us as a equals. She doesn't complain, but she does speak her mind honestly and with respect for our feelings.

8) She's trustworthy and reliable. We can take her word to the bank. If she tells us she is going to do something or be somewhere, it's set in stone. We could give her your credit cards and never worry that she'll overspend. Now that's a bonus for those tax dollars.

So what's wrong with her?

You know the old adage, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is"? That could also apply to our girl next door. Despite all the good qualities that we've ascribed to her, there are still some things to take into consideration — things that may displace her from the pedestal we've so readily put her on. She might be playing us. The worst possible thing to discover is that this was all an act. She really is that wild child party girl who sucked us in with the "nice girl" facade, and all of a sudden, we're back dreading the same old power hungry autocrat's next move.

But in life we have to take a chance. We've all been smitten with this girl-next-door. It shouldn't be too hard to get out there and ask for a cup of sugar from this sweet thing and bring up the idea of running for Prime Minister. After all those politicians who messed with our hearts before, it's now time to get some stable, honest, neighbourly love.
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