Sunday, May 25, 2014

Tell lies and smile

I have sticky notes on my laptop which I leave there on the side all the time. The top item says 'Tell lies and SMILE', and I always smile when I see it. Smiling is really good for your health, so I must be super healthy, that's why I'm on disability. Or maybe it was the lies. Or a good lawyer. But then x-rays don't lie and they say I've got a few parts out of place. So there.

I don't really lie, it's just that truth is so irrelevant. The universe is what it is. Who cares what we say it is. Our perceptions on reality are so subjective to our upbringing and beliefs that fallibility must be a given. Humanity and maybe life itself is incapable of comprehending absolute truth so why risk deceiving ourselves? Just tell lies and be happy!

Mark Twain is often quoted as saying “If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything”. But that's just the point. Western society is being inundated with dementia and what's the cause? Why lack of mental exercise like learning a second language when your 65 or remembering the silly story you told your second cousin to get out of his wedding. Four hundred guests was enough anyhow, he just wanted my gift. Now whenever I meet him and he asks about my broken neck I can tell him what a wonderful job the doctors did and the investments I made with the insurance money have turned my life around. Goodbye dementia! And we can laugh and be even healthier. What a jerk.

And then there's the economy. Our whole justice system would be in ruins if everyone told the truth. What would lawyers do? No tax evasion, no costly divorce proceedings, our civilization would go broke. That will be my next doctoral thesis 'Lies and the perpetuation of western civilization'. I can plagiarize the whole thing and get away with it! As we progress I believe it will become a given that everything that everyone says is a lie. The 1% is certainly on the right path, how else are we 99% going to compete? Human evilution has reached a turning point. We must submit to our higher calling and disregard the truth as a stepping stone on the way to a truly equal society.

May your day be filled with lies as you smile from ear to ear.
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